National Youth Rally in Colorado

NYR 2018 has come to a close and with that it has been fun! What is it? A week out in nature with no cell service and no internet prasing the Lord. I love this experience and I decided I would share it with you!

We drove out here on July 19th and arrived on the 20th to Colorado. That day we set up our tents and hung out in Castle Rock for a while. The 21st was our fun day. For that we did the battle field Colorado outdoor lazer tag course definitely a must go to again. I didn't have a name on my gun, so I never knew who I hit. My gun was glitchy, but for the one announced kill it was for my sister, she was on the opposing team the Bravo team, while I was on the Alpha team. So after Battle field we went to the Garden of the Gods, that place was absolutely beautiful I love being outdoors and exploring so this was an amazing adventure we got to go on. 

The 22nd was the start of NYR, we had our morning classes and then went back up to camp and hung out for a while until night service then we had our group time. This day was also my day to be in cook group. The 23rd we had service, went to class. After lunch we tried to go to Devils Head, we didn't even make it out of the van, we got there and we had to turn right around and go back to camp. The 24th was the same things again, service, class, night service. Yet, that night was Donut Night! I absolutly love donut night, if they iust let me eat them all i would be super happy!The 25th we did it all over again, this time though we were able to go back to Devils head and try again. We made it to the fire lookout tower and that was an cold and rainy accomplishment. I was so glad that we made it up there this year, it was a blast! On some other notes before I move on to the rest of my week. I took naps during some of my down time. One instance I apparently fell asleep and didn't wake up after she stabbed me 7 times with her umbrella and I snore. If you snore, be proud of it! I move a lot when I sleep, so I tend hit things. We have our totes in the middle of the tent and I sleep right next to those and Brooke with her air mattress, so as you can imagine I have hit everything possible to hit.

 Thursday the 26th was our last day up in the mountain. I love this place, it makes me happy to be able to come up here and enjoy the beauty of this world. Really that was our last morning service, class, and night service. It was also donut night again and I love donuts, but myself and Brooke were chaparoning around another girl and a guy she met on a date. It really was an easy day. Today we are on our way back home and we should be home early tomorrow morning! 

*caution sadness ahead*

Throughout my time here at NYR I've had time to reflect. My dad passed away from cancer in January after 3 years of battle. I got a Facebook message on Thursday the 18th that dad wasn't doing well my heart sank, I wanted to go home and see him, but I was told to stay. On Friday the 19th around 430pm. I was really excited to talk to my mom about my day, she called me and I answered really happy and the next thing I heard crushed me, "I'm sorry mousy he's gone". A part of me died that day and I haven't recovered and I'm not sure I ever will. I loved my father even if I didn't show it at all. He taught me a lot in the 20 years that I had him here on earth with me. I feel like an awful person.

 But recently there was a cresent moon in the sky and a little star next to it, I stared at it every night and thought of my dad and things we did together. I took that time for granted, i wish now i would have admired that time more with him. On my drive home all I could think about was what I said to him last and I couldn't remember what I said, but I do remember what he said, "wait". As I stormed out the door on December 28th 2017 because mom was wanting me to leave so I could get on my way to Fulton. I was mad at mom and I didn't wait. I didn't get my goodbye, I missed out on seeing him alive. It eats me up everyday, and I try not to think about it, but I do. Why did I tell you that story? Well thoughout this week I have had the opportunity to think and reflect.

 I was mad at God and I was mad at myself. But I feel like God has been telling me it's okay, stop blaming yourself. I've just kinda been a mess recently, well all year actually. Everything happens for a reason, God has a plan, he is with you at all times, even in your faith wavers like mine did during that time in my life God will always be waiting with open arms to take you back up into his arms. My time here at NYR has helped me reflect on this moment in my life. The road will be rough and the tears will always flow, but the Lord my God will always stand firm with me.